What is a Tease?

Throughout high school all of the boys I have ever dated always tried to get some. It was so frustrating because at that time, all I wanted to do was loose it to the love of my life, preferably on my wedding night. But who was I kidding, I knew that I wanted it to be with someone special; someone who I was in a happy, healthy relationship with. That should be understandable right? To guys, it is being considered a tease, if you get him all hyped up and you decided to not finish him off. At times, I can see why boys get mad at girls like that. Some girls just enjoy the attention and never return the favor. Other girls live up the tease reputation and flirt like hell then walk away. I got to admit, I loved being a flirt and a tease in high school. After these last two years in college, and even my last year in high school, I threw that reputation out the door and gained more respect for myself, and grew as an individual.
Now the thing that gets on my nerves is the fact that guys do not understand the word "No," and just try to convince you that it is your obligation to finish them up when they purposely try to get some. Like FUCK OFF, Seriously Dude. It is SO Annoying!
Last night I had this cute boy over and we were just planning to hang out. He had a long day, I had a long day and we both had to be up early. He was planning on leaving back home early (I know this because he straight up stated, "I am going to leave earlier so I can catch some sleep.") But instead, the first thing he does is jump on my air mattress! (I am moving out, that is why I'm sleeping on this atm lol) Then he states, "I want to take a nap." He lives like 30 min away so I figured, "oh he must be tired, lets just take a nap and then he can ride his bike safely back to Pomona." Well that nap turned into him unhooking my bra, because "you shouldn't be wearing a bra to sleep," and him getting a huge boner and him grabbing my hand so I can feel it. Like really?!
I jumped off my bed to lay on the ground after he keeps feeling me up, then I got back on my bed after I told him we are not doing anything tonight. But he kept on insisting that I want to and I need to just relax. NO BRO, YOU NEED TO RELAX.
Any who, at the end of the night he kept acting like it was my fault, and I was the bitch, and he just made me feel soo uncomfortable with myself and with him. This is not the first time this has happened. I don't get why guys just think it's okay to hook up with every girl they hang out with. And I definitely don't get why they flip out on the girl once she does not want to hook up with the dude. She is not being a tease. You are the one who initiates it boys, well you guys do a majority of the time. If I hoped on top of you and started kissing your neck, or even if I just laid next to you rubbing your you know what, then decided not to finish you up at all, then you have every right to call me a tease. But if you keep trying and trying to turn me on and make me want to do more, that is a form of rape! I said NO. And NO means NO. You being persuasive is a pain in our ass. Just stop and calm your dick down.

Now lets look at http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tease
Number 1

A member of the opposite sex, usually a female who entices you into thinking you have a chance. Almost always ends with you having blue balls and feelings of sorrow, resentment and bitterness.  So with this being said, we see that people just assume it is a female a majority of the time. Newsflash, men can be teases just as much as women, women are just much more flirtatious then men in public. Another point I wanted to make is now that society has implanted the terms, "blue balls," and "tease," in young American minds, women are forever going to be treated like dirt, or even worse, giving a horrible reputation by the horny little bastard that just wanted to get some.  Now lets take a look at number 3 and 6.  That is a real tease. Someone who flirts with you and has no attention in giving in, then just walking away. The moral of this short story is, boys need to relax and allow the girl to do whatever she wants. Both sexes should be comfortable in the situation. Last but not least, no one should have to force someone to feel an obligation, because at the end of the day, that can be seen as rape. Girls never owe guys any satisfaction, and neither do guys for girls. Take care of yourself before you please others, (in the literal nonsexual sense... just felt like I should clarify).

Let them Tatas Free

"Though bare-breasted women might shock the sensibilities of some in the public, it is encouraging to see the police responding positively to gender bias, even on such a seemingly small scale."

So why should a women feel as if she shouldn't be allowed to show off her tatas if men walk around half naked all the damn time? As I am writing this, I am chilling in my house butt naked, and most people thing that is "different." I just think it is me being okay with my body, plus I am definitely more comfortable doing so.
This article below explains how two women in 1992 were arrested for being topless in public, then again in 2005 another women decided to put it up to the test and be topless in public. She was detained and then sued the city for $29000. It has everything to do with gender bias.
Men have breast just as women do. Yes, the public might think it is quite weird for a women to be walking around topless in public, but we have just as every right as men do to do so.
Next time you are at the beach ladies, and you want to tan topless but think it is unacceptable or that it can cause you to be detained by the police, Just Do It.
That is complete gender bias and illegal.
Stand up for your rights and do not let the "man" tell you otherwise.
Join the "Go Topless" organization as they celebrate Go Topless Day August 25th.
(locations will be posted in the second link)

http://www.policymic.com/articles/42359/topless-women-in-public-not-breaking-the-law-says-nypd
http://gotopless.org/gotopless-day

Women With Guns: NIKITA

This is my television show role model. Although she is always seen as a threat and a rebel in the eyes of the man, keeps doing things her way. She does conform later in season three, which somewhat disappointed me, but she is doing what she believes is best. She still is the best of the best while letting her emotions flow. She respects her fiance and vice versa. They are a team, they do complete each other and allow each other to grow as individuals. Her characters strength and courage is extremely inspiring! 

Good Girl Gina Memes

Good Girl Gina Memes are supposed to symbolize a girl who follows her typical gender role. One who is loyal and caring. One who is compassionate and gives. It is a complete sexist meme that was ever created. For instance, the first two I posted. "You Rape Her, SHe Knows She Asked For It." Really... That is the most ignorant thing I have ever read. I feel so sorry for the person who created it. No female, ever asks to be raped. No man should ever have sex with a women when she says no! And the other one is totally sexist because "a women's place is in the kitchen," says no women ever!
On the other hand, the two in the middle seem to be very iffy. I cannot tell if the people who created this are more for open minded girls, who believe in equality, or if they are just lazy, cheap people who say they want a feminist, but really they just want a nice girl to do things for them.

The last two are really cool because they are totally open minded,  and they are okay with dating someone who is righteously a better person. Someone who knows what they want. 

The thing that confuses me the most is that, yes, some of these are borderline sexist while others support feminism, but then there is the one at the very top that completely slaps feminists in the face. How can we change rape culture? How can we get to "Makes you a better person?"

Avatar and Ecofeminism

I was a junior in high school when I watched this movie with my mother. At the end she said she hated this movie because of the plot. I thought she was crazy, but now I realize my mother is somewhat of an ecofeminist. She then explained how she is tired of seeing the man come in and destroy a civilization. 

The quote that stands out throughout this trailer below is, 

"They've sent us a message, that they can take whatever they want, but we will send them a message, that this, this is OUR LAND!" 

This movie is really about globalization, indigoes population, colonialism, capturing more land and natural resources.
But the man sees this as an opportunity to gain more power and wealth. They do not care about other civilizations, they only care about themselves. The man wants to act as if the Navi's are trying to cause a war, but really they want to protect what is theirs. Man is greedy. Man has no emotion and only acts on reason. In order to get things done, masculinity and femininity needs to be complimentary. In order to get things done correctly they need to be combined, not seen as complete separate entities.

Ecofeminism for dummies

Definition of ECOFEMINISM

: a movement or theory that applies feminist principles and ideas to ecological issues

For you people that want more details, this is a cool website that breaks it down and gives you eight key "women-nature connections." Go Check it out. :) 
http://environmental.lilithezine.com/Introduction-to-Ecofeminism.html

One of Four is One too Many...

   

"I PROMISE IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN"

Lost Because I Let You Take Control

One does not simply get over being abused.
One simply needs a good support system.

December 21, 2011

"You've been on my mind a lot lately. 

Boys resemble you in personality and looks and ethnicity and even situations. 

Its so hard to get over you still. 

When I feel like I'm done with you, something happens that triggers that emotion. 

How can you still have power over me! 

Better yet, why DO I LET YOU behold that power. 

It usually happens when I'm lonely. 

You and me happened because I was lonely. 

But without that bad, you were perfect for me. 

Well that's what I at least thought. 

Now I have no idea what I want. 

I'm so lost and confused. 

Lost God. Lost track of time. Lost myself."

-A little over 10 months after the last incident

Minors Repo Rights with Plan B.

“Morning After Pill” Now Available to Girls 15+

I am all for Plan B, don't get me wrong, it does help out a lot and it is smart to take after having unprotected sex. But I do have to say, I disagree with this being available for children that are 15. Yes, I said children. They are barely sophomores in high school! They should not be having unprotected sex. They actually should not be having sex to begin with. The fact that this is available for girls that young is horrible. I am for expressing your sexuality, and being free to having sex without being judged. But I also am a strong believer in having sex when...

 a. you're emotionally ready

     -----> when you know you are able to be with a guy and not get overly emotionally attached that you do become a slut         because you keep sleeping around with guys for the attention and not because you actually want to and then you complain about sleeping with them because you are so lost and confused and you totally lost yourself

 b. hence, when you find yourself and become more of an individual

I honestly do see this being a horrible idea. Coming from a teen who has seen many of my gfs getting pregnant, and many of my gfs becoming one of those emotional girls who tend to have tons of "daddy" issues. It is not fun. It only allows one to stay in that weak mentality. Girls who do get check ups, who are on the pill, who are educated know where to go to get plan b. Girls who know how to go to the doctors on their own know how to get plan b. Girls who are okay with taking about their sex lives, which means they are more open and honest about sex, know where to get plan b. They are more educated. Allowing little uneducated girls that are not emotionally ready to have sex, the option of getting plan b from the local drug store is just plane stupid. They will most likely have more unprotected sex since this is an easy way out for them. 

It is pretty Simple, Do Not Assault People.

Confidence is Key

How to Raise a Confident Woman

1. Girl Power

2. Compliment all of her good qualities - not just her looks 

3. Expose your daughter to sports and other activities

4. Teach her about puberty before it happens 

5. Explain the difference between Fantasy and Reality

6. Focus on being healthy - not being slim

7. Don't forget male influences

8. Point out female role models 

9. Don't dismiss sexism when you see it 

read more at 

http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/family/raise-confident-woman?src=spr_FBPAGE&spr_id=1446_7619053/

Be the one to make a Difference. Knowledge is Power.

Contin. of Double Standards

This is what I had to say about Double Standards and the Ignorant people when I'm ticked off... 

April 14

After reading about Repo Rights for my Feminist class... Promiscuous Girl came in mind...
The dude... "You might be the type if I play my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night"
The female... "You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it"
Why is there this double standard?
Boys, you are the fucking idiots who usually want to have sex or pressure the girls into having sex.. then you disrespect the girls and call them sluts if they slept with more then one dude... like fuck off and go fuck a blow up doll...
And for you females who call other girls sluts, You are only allowing us women to be lower then men and never allowing us to finally be at the top of the pyramid of hierarchy.

Double Standards

On a Scale From Virgin to Slut: Why My “Number” Doesn’t Matter
"Your sex life is yours for a reason; it does not have to be divulged or counted or calculated on a scale of virgin-to-’slut’."read more at http://feminspire.com/on-a-scale-from-virgin-to-slut-why-my-number-doesnt-matter/

So the girl who wrote this post said her favorite passage in this movie called Daydream Nation, was the one she posted. But for me, during high school, I was in love with the song Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado, and three of my favorite movies are, Easy A, Friends With Benefits, and No Strings Attached. I was the girl that always dated a different guy. I got bored easily and like a challenge. Then I became that girl who made her boyfriend everything and lost it to him. He completely destroyed me and I became the depressed needy girl who wanted to be alone (if that makes any sense). The fact that I was always dating, made girls hate me and guys did not want to trust me. They spread nasty rumors, which I laugh at now, especially because have of those girls have cheated on their boyfriends, are still obsessed in wanting to be the girl for him, or they are already pregnant or gave birth to their first child. The guys, well, they thought they could have me, and they were wrong.
But now being in college, and out of that small town. I am finally free to be more of an individual then I was in high school. I get to go out with who I want, and do who I want, and it's not a big deal, cause no one gives a shit.
Unfortunately, there comes times when I am really into a guy, but the time he asks me how many guys I have been with, I completely loose interest. First of all, it's none of your god damn business. Second, that is my past, why bring it up, when a future of us together is not certain. Third, why should it even matter? 

It is so shocking how guys are completely hypocritical about how many guys girls sleep with. And on top of that it is even more shocking to see how many girls are against other girls. Girls should always have each other's backs when it comes down to being called names such as "slut" or "whore" because of how many guys they dated, kissed, or fucked. 

Those movies, and that song that I loved in high school were so popular, but they are overlooked. Guys expect that their friends with benefit can only be with them, or vice versa. And girls straight disrespect other girls that live a different lifestyle. 

Just relax, have fun, and try to live your own life. It is actually really simple thing to do. 

“Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” 
― Sheng Wang

What is Feminist Porn?

Pornography has always been a controversial issue. Does it make men lust more? Does it cause women to be violated and humiliated? Many feminists against it believe that the women are being forced, drugged, or damaged.
But an excerpt from Alison Lee, manager from Good For her, states,
"A porn film can be classified as feminist, I think, as soon as women are taken into account as viewers, and that as actors within the film, their own desires are taken into account. This means basically showing that women have just as much right to erotic entertainment as men do, and their desires and pleasure is important, too. I don't think that feminist porn has to show women at all though, and there is a growing body of excellent smut out there starring trans people (mostly trans men so far) that is looking to show genuine pleasure, consent, and loving relationships outside of the gender binary.

"I think feminists are hungry for erotic entertainment that takes them into account. In the end, we are addressing a growing market, and I hope that more women who don't like porn take a look at some of our winners to see how things could be different, and that the rest of the porn industry starts taking more of our criteria into account!"

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/living/article/WTF-is-feminist-porn-The-Feminist-Porn-Awards-2493360.php#ixzz2TiqhENeP

I believe that porn should not be kept hidden or made a secrete. The more we try to force people to watch porn, or even not discuss their sex lives, the more it is seen as an unnatural thing. Having sex is going to happen no matter if you are heterosexual or homosexual. It is something we long for. Women are constantly being told that they are sluts if they sleep around. Maybe this spin on porn being more feminist is a good thing. If more women were open to their sex lives, and more men realize more women like to have sex, would make this double standard disappear. Women, as well as men, need to realize that masturbation, sex, and watching porn are natural things that we all do at one point in our lives. Plus, who wants to be sexually frustrated? Sex releases those happy endorphines, so get to it. Make yourself happy, and make sure that you are not the only one pleasing, but the favor is returned. 

#2. Feminism Kills Romance.

Sorry, I'm not sorry. Feminist are able to please their significant others and vice versa, because in the fact that they believe in a give and take with them. They were probably more satisfied because their relationship is more independent and believed in equality. 

"5 Widely Believed Dating Myths (Science Says Aren't True)"
What We Thought:The idea that feminists make bad lovers doesn't just persist among the older generation and fratty douchebag types. After all, isn't that one of the tenets of feminism, that women don't need men? Wasn't it the founders of the modern feminist movement who coined the phrase "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"? And aren't feminists the ones who refuse to shave their legs and shun all sexy clothing as a byproduct of male objectification and oppression?So even if we're being as progressive and politically correct as possible about feminists, relationships just aren't their thing, right?But Science Says...The raw numbers say otherwise. First of all, women who identify themselves as feminists are, at any given moment, more likely to be in a heterosexual romantic relationship than women who don't (yes, "heterosexual," for those of you who secretly assume "feminist" means "lesbian").But their boyfriends and husbands are surely miserable, right? Having to live with a woman shrieking at them about phallic oppression 24 hours a day?Well, according to that same study, men who reported their partner was a feminist also reported more satisfaction with their sex lives than those who didn't. So as for the idea that feminists are abrasive, mannish women in flannel, either it's grossly inaccurate, or there are a lot of dudes who are into that kind of thing.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18670_5-widely-believed-dating-myths-science-says-arent-true_p2.html#ixzz2Tilo6iTm"

more about the study can be read here, http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071015102856.htm

Masculine, feminine or human?

Robert Jensen conducts a social experiment of his own while being a guest speaker in a lecture about masculinity to a college class.
He first asks the class to "...imagine themselves as parents whose 12-year-old son asks, 'Mommy/daddy, what does is mean to be a man?'"He then writes the results on the board.
Then he asks, "...the women to observe while the men answer a second question: When you are in all-male spaces, such as the locker room or a night out with the guys, what do you say to each other about what it means to be a man? How do you define masculinity when there are no women present?"
After they answer, he then asks the class to, "consider the meaning of the two lists. On the first list of the culturally endorsed definitions of masculinity, how many of those traits are unique to men? Are women ever strong? Should women be strong? Can women be just as responsible as men? Should women provide and care for others?"
Then he asks the students, "if anyone wants to make the argument that women are incapable of these things, or less capable than men," but no one is willing to speak up.
Finally he asks, "If the positive definitions of masculinity are not really about being a man but simply about being a person, and if the definitions of masculinity within which men routinely operate are negative, why are we holding onto the concept so tightly? Why are we so committed to the notion that there are intellectual, emotional, and moral differences that are inherent, that come as a result of biological sex differences?
And concludes is with, "think about what a similar exercise around femininity might reveal? How might the patterns be similar or different? If masculinity is a suspect category, it would seem so is femininity."
Every time he does this, the students seem to be in discomfort. Extremely uncomfortable.

Imagine if we really started this with children at the age of 12. Would their perception of gender and gender roles differ?  Asking questions that allow one to open there minds to new possibilities is rare. People tend to shrug off topics like this. They allow society to win, and change to be avoidable. More teachers and professors should allow group discusion like this to help people voice their opinions and sometimes, just allow students to see a problem that has been pushed aside.


full article below.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2Q3ICm/:15qTQuR@D:c@2luLI9/uts.cc.utexas.edu/~rjensen/freelance/masculinefeminineorhuman.htm/

Long legged Beauty MisUnderstood

"For him she is sex-absolute sex, no less"

I remember being in elementary and in jr high and then again in high school, where I would always get in trouble for my shorts, skirts, and dresses being too short. School officials always made me do the finger tip rule, and I would always think that was ridiculous. I was always one of the tallest girls in my class, so my longer legs were always the target. Why is it that the more leg that one shows makes them the object of judgmental comments? Women are referred to being "whores," "sluts," "asking for it," and as for guys, they are referred to being gay if their shorts are too short. Society needs to get over themselves and allow people to dress how they want to without being called names or seen as sex objects. 

Its really sad actually, I was at this Fraternity house for a party the other night, and I was wearing shorts since it has been really hot lately, and one of the guys I met at the last part (drunk off his ass, as I might add) touched my leg softly, and was like "legs for days" as he was starring at me... I was so disappointed that those words came out of his mouth. 

The days I show off more leg does not mean I want to have sex with you! Sorry, I'm not Sorry. 

Be the Woman a Man Needs

"She is defined and differentiated with reference to man and not with reference to her..."

- Simone De Beauvoir

In my philosophy of sex and love class, one thing that has stuck with me is that women tend to make having a man a priority, whereas a man, makes it a part of their checklist.

Girls these days run around searching for a man to take them out, to care for them, to make their everything. They become dependent to this man, and once that happens the man has complete control. As women becomes the woman who needs a man, she becomes the subject. She looses herself in him, idolizing him, and has no room for growth. She was made his.

When one becomes the woman a man needs, he respects her, allows her to have her own ideology, she has room to grow, and him as well. They grow together and become a team. She no longer is the Other, but the One. She is herself.

Oppression

A women who frequently posts on feminspire is a heterosexual, middle class, woman. But she is also a person of color. She states, "I am sick of being told that I am not allowed to define if someone is being racist or sexist toward me. I, as being a woman of color who has consistently been treated differently or looked down upon, am allowed to define the oppression that I face. I have the ability to define whether or not something happened to me because of my race or gender, as opposed to just something happening to me. And people without certain privileges have those abilities too. Too many discussions in our world are dominated by the oppressor. Our conversations, the ones about how institutions block certain people from attaining privileges, should not be dominated by the institutions. They should be dominated by the people who experience these injustices themselves.

This might sound like common sense but it is not exacted in our communities or world."

Full article can be read below. http://feminspire.com/i-define-my-own-oppression/

How many of you are afraid to speak up about your oppression? Never let anyone tell your story, or their version of your story. Own your life, and take charge of how you believe you should be treated. Do not let society norms change who you are or who you want to be. Better yourself by being yourself.  Sojourner Truth spike to a gathering of feminists in 1851, "Ain't I a Women?" She was dealing with oppression from being a person of color, and also a woman.
I am 19 years old, and a victim of domestic violence. I am from a middle eastern household. I am completely broke. I am a heterosexual. I am a woman. I am a college student. I am a double major. I am the first of my parents, my brothers, and my cousins to go to a four year university. And I never let someone talk down to me. So many people can look down upon me because I am different. So many people have blamed me for the abuse I have gone through. And so many people have tried to tear me down. But speak your truth and fight to gain your power. No one is ever going to just hand it to you, and most will try to take it away from you. But you need to define yourself and let no one else define you.

Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl

I love watching Ted videos because they are very eye opening.

The summary of the video as stated on TED is, "In this passionate talk, Eve Ensler declares that there is a girl cell in us all -- a cell that we have all been taught to suppress. She tells heartfelt stories of girls around the world who have overcome shocking adversity and violence to reveal the astonishing strength of being a girl."
Eve asks, "how do we bring up boys?" She believes, "being a girl is so powerful, that we had to train everyone not to be that." The world has denied us in being girls, and we are forced to surpress our emotions and that is why we have not made a difference.

Reading peoples responses, I saw this one post below,

"I need to say, I find it very funny that she calls this "the girl cell" when western society women are one of the most egocentric beings in the world.
They are used to get treated like princesses, they love shopping, reality shows and reading gossip magazines, celebrities like Paris Hilton are their role-models and they love violent bad boys."

This video and this comment reminds me of Simone De Beauvoir and her stance that being dependent makes one in a position to be inferior. Simone asks, if a woman is made or if she was born a woman. After this video, one can realize that one has always been born a woman, but has been forced to please men, to change who they are, who was trained into the behaviors of a feminine female. Women, biologically are born female, they however do become the other man, because of normative gender roles. This guy above proves that this is just another gender role society has placed on women. Yes, some women do watch and read and do the things he listed, but Eve has never mentioned their hobbies. She just states our characteristic traits that men what to take away from us because it makes us "weak," but it really makes us more connected and stronger.

You should watch this video below.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1cwx4L/:16A$0bl_4:c@2luLI9/www.ted.com/talks/eve_ensler_embrace_your_inner_girl.html/