Lately I fell like "I Can't Even..." and this is Why

Don't ever judge a person on what you have heard about them or their image or what they do with their lives. No one can see what thoughts actually goes on through their minds. Most importantly no one can actually be defined until after they have died... because every second we are on this planet we can change. We will change. The more one judges people based on nothing but mere speculation, the more harm it causes--to themselves, to others, and to the world at large. 
As for me people can label me as many things, but I can promise you one thing... my 1000+ friends on here have no idea what I have been through or know me for anything more then what I have allowed them to know or the lies, rumors, or speculations about me are out there. There is maybe 6 people who know my deepest secret... the biggest thing I have ever have to gone through. Even if there has been years for me to "move on" I can never completely forget. And the worst part is, all the judgements about "who I am" are completely off basis form Who I Actually AM. Having to play happy puts a toll on someone. Being told that "its your past you can move forward," or even, "just forget about it," destroys a piece of someone everyday. And it is worse when they do "try to forget about it." 

I am Edessa Yousefzadeh. I am labeled as someone who would "push on a door that says pull." I am a new member to Delta Zeta at CSUF. I am labeled as a "party girl." I promote for SWAT. I am labeled as a "nice girl that tends to do too much for her friends." I am a girl with a big heart, that loves to love. I am labeled as "someone who trusts a lot and is an open book." I am a domestic violence victim. I am labeled as "the girl who stayed in the relationship and was at fault because so." I am someone with anxiety and my anxiety has never been so bad as it is now. I can go on and on about what I am labeled as and what I feel like I am, but that can take days... 
Labels and judgement aren't who a person is. My name is just the name given to me at birth. Yes, I respond to it, but that is not who I am. What I am involved in does not define me. The labels that people place on me due to speculations are bias and subjective. And everyday I have to try to fight with the fact that I have been through an abusive relationship. We can and do place labels on ourselves. We do live in our past experiences. But this in most cases can only harm us. We are capable of harming ourselves. We inflict harm everyday by allowing our insecurities get the best of ourselves. So imagine when other people outside of us act as if they know us, as if they know our lives... imagine how much influence and effect they have on our livelihood. 
So stop projecting your own issues on other people. Stop taking out your anger on something that is outside of your life. Deal with YOU first. Stop with the judging, the belittling, the labeling, the harassment, the bullying-- but first stop with the lies to yourself and then stop lying to others. Embrace who you are and embrace what you want for your life everyday. Other people will always be here with you, but respect them as well. Take a moment to remember that this world is full of people of all shapes, sizes, and color... Most importantly we are all facing everyday life challenges. Some experiences may be worse than others, but some people can also be more equipped to handle it better than others.
We cannot know the feeling of walking in someone else's shoes, because at the end of the day everyone will always be different. No TWO People are alike. That will always be a fact. So man up and reflect inwards before you start reflecting on other lives around you. 

What is a Tease?

Throughout high school all of the boys I have ever dated always tried to get some. It was so frustrating because at that time, all I wanted to do was loose it to the love of my life, preferably on my wedding night. But who was I kidding, I knew that I wanted it to be with someone special; someone who I was in a happy, healthy relationship with. That should be understandable right? To guys, it is being considered a tease, if you get him all hyped up and you decided to not finish him off. At times, I can see why boys get mad at girls like that. Some girls just enjoy the attention and never return the favor. Other girls live up the tease reputation and flirt like hell then walk away. I got to admit, I loved being a flirt and a tease in high school. After these last two years in college, and even my last year in high school, I threw that reputation out the door and gained more respect for myself, and grew as an individual.
Now the thing that gets on my nerves is the fact that guys do not understand the word "No," and just try to convince you that it is your obligation to finish them up when they purposely try to get some. Like FUCK OFF, Seriously Dude. It is SO Annoying!
Last night I had this cute boy over and we were just planning to hang out. He had a long day, I had a long day and we both had to be up early. He was planning on leaving back home early (I know this because he straight up stated, "I am going to leave earlier so I can catch some sleep.") But instead, the first thing he does is jump on my air mattress! (I am moving out, that is why I'm sleeping on this atm lol) Then he states, "I want to take a nap." He lives like 30 min away so I figured, "oh he must be tired, lets just take a nap and then he can ride his bike safely back to Pomona." Well that nap turned into him unhooking my bra, because "you shouldn't be wearing a bra to sleep," and him getting a huge boner and him grabbing my hand so I can feel it. Like really?!
I jumped off my bed to lay on the ground after he keeps feeling me up, then I got back on my bed after I told him we are not doing anything tonight. But he kept on insisting that I want to and I need to just relax. NO BRO, YOU NEED TO RELAX.
Any who, at the end of the night he kept acting like it was my fault, and I was the bitch, and he just made me feel soo uncomfortable with myself and with him. This is not the first time this has happened. I don't get why guys just think it's okay to hook up with every girl they hang out with. And I definitely don't get why they flip out on the girl once she does not want to hook up with the dude. She is not being a tease. You are the one who initiates it boys, well you guys do a majority of the time. If I hoped on top of you and started kissing your neck, or even if I just laid next to you rubbing your you know what, then decided not to finish you up at all, then you have every right to call me a tease. But if you keep trying and trying to turn me on and make me want to do more, that is a form of rape! I said NO. And NO means NO. You being persuasive is a pain in our ass. Just stop and calm your dick down.

Now lets look at http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tease
Number 1

A member of the opposite sex, usually a female who entices you into thinking you have a chance. Almost always ends with you having blue balls and feelings of sorrow, resentment and bitterness.  So with this being said, we see that people just assume it is a female a majority of the time. Newsflash, men can be teases just as much as women, women are just much more flirtatious then men in public. Another point I wanted to make is now that society has implanted the terms, "blue balls," and "tease," in young American minds, women are forever going to be treated like dirt, or even worse, giving a horrible reputation by the horny little bastard that just wanted to get some.  Now lets take a look at number 3 and 6.  That is a real tease. Someone who flirts with you and has no attention in giving in, then just walking away. The moral of this short story is, boys need to relax and allow the girl to do whatever she wants. Both sexes should be comfortable in the situation. Last but not least, no one should have to force someone to feel an obligation, because at the end of the day, that can be seen as rape. Girls never owe guys any satisfaction, and neither do guys for girls. Take care of yourself before you please others, (in the literal nonsexual sense... just felt like I should clarify).

Let them Tatas Free

"Though bare-breasted women might shock the sensibilities of some in the public, it is encouraging to see the police responding positively to gender bias, even on such a seemingly small scale."

So why should a women feel as if she shouldn't be allowed to show off her tatas if men walk around half naked all the damn time? As I am writing this, I am chilling in my house butt naked, and most people thing that is "different." I just think it is me being okay with my body, plus I am definitely more comfortable doing so.
This article below explains how two women in 1992 were arrested for being topless in public, then again in 2005 another women decided to put it up to the test and be topless in public. She was detained and then sued the city for $29000. It has everything to do with gender bias.
Men have breast just as women do. Yes, the public might think it is quite weird for a women to be walking around topless in public, but we have just as every right as men do to do so.
Next time you are at the beach ladies, and you want to tan topless but think it is unacceptable or that it can cause you to be detained by the police, Just Do It.
That is complete gender bias and illegal.
Stand up for your rights and do not let the "man" tell you otherwise.
Join the "Go Topless" organization as they celebrate Go Topless Day August 25th.
(locations will be posted in the second link)

http://www.policymic.com/articles/42359/topless-women-in-public-not-breaking-the-law-says-nypd
http://gotopless.org/gotopless-day

Women With Guns: NIKITA

This is my television show role model. Although she is always seen as a threat and a rebel in the eyes of the man, keeps doing things her way. She does conform later in season three, which somewhat disappointed me, but she is doing what she believes is best. She still is the best of the best while letting her emotions flow. She respects her fiance and vice versa. They are a team, they do complete each other and allow each other to grow as individuals. Her characters strength and courage is extremely inspiring! 

Good Girl Gina Memes

Good Girl Gina Memes are supposed to symbolize a girl who follows her typical gender role. One who is loyal and caring. One who is compassionate and gives. It is a complete sexist meme that was ever created. For instance, the first two I posted. "You Rape Her, SHe Knows She Asked For It." Really... That is the most ignorant thing I have ever read. I feel so sorry for the person who created it. No female, ever asks to be raped. No man should ever have sex with a women when she says no! And the other one is totally sexist because "a women's place is in the kitchen," says no women ever!
On the other hand, the two in the middle seem to be very iffy. I cannot tell if the people who created this are more for open minded girls, who believe in equality, or if they are just lazy, cheap people who say they want a feminist, but really they just want a nice girl to do things for them.

The last two are really cool because they are totally open minded,  and they are okay with dating someone who is righteously a better person. Someone who knows what they want. 

The thing that confuses me the most is that, yes, some of these are borderline sexist while others support feminism, but then there is the one at the very top that completely slaps feminists in the face. How can we change rape culture? How can we get to "Makes you a better person?"

Avatar and Ecofeminism

I was a junior in high school when I watched this movie with my mother. At the end she said she hated this movie because of the plot. I thought she was crazy, but now I realize my mother is somewhat of an ecofeminist. She then explained how she is tired of seeing the man come in and destroy a civilization. 

The quote that stands out throughout this trailer below is, 

"They've sent us a message, that they can take whatever they want, but we will send them a message, that this, this is OUR LAND!" 

This movie is really about globalization, indigoes population, colonialism, capturing more land and natural resources.
But the man sees this as an opportunity to gain more power and wealth. They do not care about other civilizations, they only care about themselves. The man wants to act as if the Navi's are trying to cause a war, but really they want to protect what is theirs. Man is greedy. Man has no emotion and only acts on reason. In order to get things done, masculinity and femininity needs to be complimentary. In order to get things done correctly they need to be combined, not seen as complete separate entities.

Ecofeminism for dummies

Definition of ECOFEMINISM

: a movement or theory that applies feminist principles and ideas to ecological issues

For you people that want more details, this is a cool website that breaks it down and gives you eight key "women-nature connections." Go Check it out. :) 
http://environmental.lilithezine.com/Introduction-to-Ecofeminism.html